We associate the word bereavement with loss, death, and mourning. All of us who have loved an animal know that sometimes the sadness begins as we realise that our friend is getting older or perhaps is experiencing a chronic or terminal illness. The first tears fall when we realise that time is limited.
While loss can be emotionally difficult, especially when presented with a hard decision concerning our animal companion, ultimately it is a natural part of life. We will likely outlive our animal friends and our loss is rarely understood by those who have not had the same experience.
A lifelong friend means that the joys of a lively youngster in time turn into an older companion that requires long naps and shorter walks. Caring for our animals means being aware of their life phases and stages and adjusting our and their environment to support them into their old age.
Managing loss
Grief impacts us all in different ways; fear, anxiety, discomfort, shock, detachment, blame and often guilt. Each family member may have completely different reaction to loss, that includes the other animals in your family.
Having the ability to put our animals needs ahead of our own can be very difficult when it comes to pain management, as we simply to do not know what they are experiencing and often our animals will not ‘let go’ as they will stay with us for as long as they are able.
Are you able to put your animals care and comfort before your own fear of loss? This is the hardest part of you loving relationship.
Talk it through with your vet, your animal and your family
Choose a time. Make it a time when other things are not happening.
Decide if you would like to present or not.
Make the appointment with your vet for the best time for all.
Focus on your love and happy times together.
Consider the room, comforts of your animals’ life, maybe music playing. Whatever arrangements are made – you may also invite an animal healer to be there to support you and your family to acknowledge your animal for his or her life and the privilege of your relationship by honoring and remaining calm.
Celebrate their life. Have a ceremony with your family and friends to celebrate their life.
What’s next
Your vet will offer you a number of options regarding burial and cremation and should you chose to bury your friend at home, consider water sources as you should steer away from them and ask your vet for the appropriate depth.
It is never possible to replicate the relationship or love you had for your special friend. Give yourself time, but keep your heart open to another animal when the time is right.